that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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