so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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