you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
