My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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