I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
