im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
