would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
