just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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