rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize