ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
