break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
