her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
