Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i think i just lost a toe
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
