Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
