wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
nutella sex= disaster
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
