my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
