I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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