Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
