at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
