Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
