Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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