Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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