Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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