Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
