And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
accomplished twins. life is a go
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
