I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
