nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The air was thick with penises
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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