I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
