also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
