Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
