There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
