Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
