So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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