thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
