i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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