Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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