I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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