Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
