she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
