I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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