So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
