I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
