hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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