this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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