It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
