Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
