I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
