i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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