so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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