1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Floor bacon is actually really good
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
